In a world where not everything is what it seems we find kindness!

I am feeling rather philosophical today I will start by sharing how touched I have been by all the kindness people have shown towards me in this moment of my life. I am doing good lost a total of 69 pounds right now but it can be more but because of my abdomen issues I am retaining fluids and such so the actual weight loss will never be accurate. I have a neck now which is kind of cool and my face changes a little everyday. I have a blog at http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/gel2mat/ so feel free to go check it out with the most recent information on my weight loss. The Dr's are talking about a second surgery for my abdomen I will know more on Feb 1, 2007 and will make sure to update both blogs because I know people read this thing. I also want to plug on my blog, this little online store that is doing a beautiful thing for me. http://www.scrappersplace.com/ I am humbled by the beautiful gesture she has made towards me so people go check out the store and buy some awesome goodies even after the fundraiser is over. Feb is going to be an interesting month around here. I am under Dr's orders to stay home rest take care of myself and that is what I have been doing. I also have been designing my scarves, belts, ponchos,scrunchies, and hats so I am sharing the photos of the ones I was able to take so far. More to come. The scarves are 20.00/25.00 with shipping in the US. The belts/fashion scarves are 15.00/20.00 with shipping, hats are 10.00 to 15.00 depending on the style. Ponchos are 30.00-40.00 also depending on the yarn and style. I also am designing hair scrunchies and those start at 5.00. I have designed a hat inspired on the 1920 flappers but my son is in Texas and it will have to wait until tomorrow. So here are some photos of my creations. I also have random photos I have been taking around the house. I needed to do head shots for some upcoming things. I will be finishing articles and some other stuff this week and will be creating other goodies to sell. If you stop by say hi and pass the word around. I take pay pal or postal money orders. Email me if you have questions. I love you all and want to thank all the people who love me and support me and that have been a part of my journey. Hugs Wanda

I actually created a page WOW!

I have done a lot of other things during this time of getting better but no actual pages yet. So this one is special because it is of my favorite person in the whole wide world. He makes me a better person because I can see the world through his eyes and not become a cynic. He has the most beautiful heart and is so easy going it is hard not to love him and give him all he wants. That is when balance needs to step in. Who knew almost seven years ago that when I became a grandma our lives would change so much. I think we smile more and I know Jose and I talk more about Jimmy than the rest of the kids. We love that his love for us is so unconditional and we hope that as he gets older that does not change. Christmas was bitter sweet around here because for the first time the kids where spread around because of work and relationship obligations. I am sure glad I get to capture these moments with my camera moments in time never to be forgotten. Today I am doing OK still tired and the pain on my left side is still there Dr says I strained something but it had more to do with the drain I had inserted there, some how my nerve endings are having a hard time connecting normally who knew. I am trying to get my mind around a creative mantra will see what happens. One of the things I love about my LSS Scrapbook Superstore in Madison Wisconsinhttp://www.scrapbooksuperstore.net/ is that when I go there I am always inspired by the people and especially by the people that own and run the store. I miss that being around them. I am or restrictions to not lift more than ten pounds and since I have to rest right now I just need to take it easy. In reality all I want to do is go to the store and crop. I think it has more to do with Rita the owner and Missy and the girls than anything else. Just wanted to make sure they knew how much they have meant to me over these years. I hope to go cropping soon. I am still crocheting a storm and even though this winter has been mild a beautiful handmade scarf is still a beautiful gift. I will be selling then for 24.99 shipping included, international orders pay actual shipping. I hope to have some photos up soon of the scarves. You can always look at older post and find the photos of the ones I made last year. I take pay pal payment gel2mat@yahoo.com and postal money orders. Let me know if you are interested. See my post are like my life all over the place. I would love for people that have bought my scarves or have received them for gift to post about the quality and beauty of the scarves. OK that is all for today remember my motto the only way to live life is to live it with a purpose and meaning. No amount of complaining can fix what you can't control so look at the positive things you have going in your life and don't dwell on the negatives. Hugs Wanda

The life and story that refuses to be silent!

Hello people out there in blog world. I have been busy with me and have not had time to update my blog. I have so many things to say and share but somehow the words really are having a hard time coming I have no Idea why. I know I am overwhelmed with emotions right now and that in itself does not help. I had my surgery on December 12, 2006 and everything went well. my family was with me and my mother and brother made such an effort to be there at least two times a day and I really can not put into words how much that meant to me. Seeing my sister and my nephew Sam and my grandson Jimmy. The friends that went to see me the flowers the cards all those things together made for a very pleasant stay at the hospital. I left the Hospital on Friday of that week and the adventure of finding me begins. I don't think this road is one that can be taken unless you have the support of your family. Case in point I needed to walk on the treadmill so I can start getting my body used to moving and so my skin does not go all crazy on me as I loss weight. So the treadmill now has a place of honor in the entrance of our house so I can walk when I want to and for however I want too. Now if you know my hubby you know this is love and support the man is kind of set in his ways and a treadmill does not belong in the Living room. My days as I get stronger consist of walking, eating resting, walking, reading resting. Who knew learning to take care of yourself is a 24 hour job. I need to remember to take my vitamins these are things I need to do the rest of my life. I am on antibiotics my incision has a small opening that has not healed and it is about an Inch long kind of scary but I see the Dr on Friday and I will take it from there. I am up to 30 minutes three to four times a day on the treadmill but hubby thinks I pulled a muscle on my chest and this is where this pain I have on my left side is coming from so I promised not to do the treadmill today to see if it got better. It is not better but it is not worse all I want to do is walk. I have to remember I need to keep my promises it is after all about my health. As for the weight loss it really depends on what the Dr says. I am retaining water on my panniculus adiposus is part of the subcutaneous tissue. It is a fatty layer deep to the skin. In certain animals, including humans, it is abundant and widely distributed, and contains fibrous bands connecting the overlying skin to deep fascia, as well as nerves, blood vessels and lymphatics to the skin. since surgery it is heavy and feels hot to the touch part of the reason I have to take antibiotics. I have no idea if this will get better what I do know is that sometimes it gets so heavy it hurts. This is something I was not counting on so it really makes me wonder what my real weight loss has been. I started the Day of surgery at 360 left the hospital at 369 went in to see the Surgeon and was at 361, then went in to see Dr Keil and there I was at 359, at home when I weigh myself I am at 352 so the weight is coming off and that is what matters. I am following all the Dr's orders eating all the things I have too and making sure I drink my water and take my protein. I don't crave food so at this point I eat because I know I have too. I measure and weigh everything I eat and I make sure the things I put in my mouth are allowed by the nutritionist. My feelings about this is if you are going to do such a life altering thing you make sure you take care of yourself. According to the Dr I don't go back to work until January 24, 2007 he wants to make sure I am strong and eating what I need to be healthy. Thoughts I am aware that this is a long term thing that it is in my hands to use this tool I have been given to do what is right for my body and my health. I have many reflections of the things that are going through my head right now. So this might be long but I think it is important that I write all these down because writing is good for the soul. 1.When I started this journey I was aware that it was going to be a life changing thing, that it was not a miracle cure to lose weight it was a tool. I worry that the tool might not work but I am not going to go there. 2. No one can embarks in a WLS adventure without a system of support, I am blessed to have a family that loves me and supports me 100% I don't take that for granted I give thanks to the powers above that my family is my rock when I can't be the rock. That I have a husband who loves me despite who I am and children who love me with the same intensity I love them. Proof of that is the bed I am sleeping on. My son Giovanni, my son John Michael and my mother got together to buy me my king size bed, I bought it from the same people that I bought my original bed, that bed set had 19 years already. The total came to 649.00 of which Gio put the the bulk of the money, it was our Christmas gift from him, that kid has a heart of gold and I love love the bed. I like my mattress firm and strong and this bed is made right here in Wisconsin by Wisconsin Bedding and they make awesome beds. It is just a Mattress and Box Springs and frame nothing fancy but to me it is gold. I like that it is made to order and that they knew how firm I like my mattresses. My office chair broke after seven years of abuse and my daughter Nicole went out and bought me the most beautiful comfortable chair because with the surgery I need to be comfortable if I am going to be using the computer. That when the kids are at home all my needs are being taken care off and when I say taken care off I mean that. The first week was hard on everyone and at one point Nicole said well my CNA training had to come in handy sometime that is the kind of week I am talking about. Especially when it seems I have developed some sort of lactose intolerance that gave me and them a lot of work enough said. 3. This year for me is going to be one of reflection and to some extent self centered that I am going to be taking care of me and focus on me. This in itself is against my nature so it is all part of the learning for me. 4. I am learning that while I love my job the fact that when the district makes the mistake of misinformation they have no Idea how they affect people's lives. I finally learned how much money is going to be cut from my check and when. In February my take home pay for the month will be around 575.00 dollars. The district is keeping 1695.00, since I am the primary wage earner in my house how is it that I am suppose to pay my bills. It is going to be interesting. I don't know how, I know I have to do it but this was not expected or planned for so I am sitting here trying not to panic. This is what happens when technology and common sense don't meet. The last two years the amount of sick days in our paychecks is wrong because of some technical issue and no one told us this was going on. So I can't do anything about it, I am not one to dwell but this one is hard. I have no rich relative to go to and ask for money we are a family that lives from month to month it is the nature of this economy especially when the middle class is a dying breed. I tell myself to take it easy make some scarves sell them remember you are a survivor. Somehow I will get through this one I hope. 5. That regardless of all the negatives the positives in my life will always outweigh the negative stuff and that is what life is all about. I believe in this with all my heart and it is my mantra. 6. Living life with a purpose is what we are put in this earth to do and I will continue to strive to do this with every breath I take. My stay in this planet is to short for it to be wasted in petty things. I will strive to make sure I keep on the path of positive living and thinking. 7. I will never underestimate the power of the friendships I have made through the Net and I hope that the people that care about me as I care for them remember that. 8. Looking forward to being creative and letting the world see all the different aspects of my creativity and how these make me the artist I am today. My focus in the creative front have been at a stall but soon I hope to be creating full speed ahead. I have things I have to scan so I can share and I need to decide if I want to enter HOF. I have most of my entry done I just need to commit to getting it finished. 9. Not being ashamed to ask for help when I need it and knowing that some things are really out of my control. So if you feel the need to help this sister out let me know, I wont say no. Finally here are some images of me and what my life has been like the last few weeks. Some of the photos are kind of gross but the journey is not pretty it is what is .

Today is the last Day and the beggining of something New!

Like my tittle well some days it is hard to be an original so I settle for humor. Tomorrow I start my two week pre-operation Diet. Which means I am on a high protein almost no carbs liquid sort of Diet. Interesting what they allow you to eat and what they don't allow. I am going to start drinking Protein drinks and these will become a staple of my diet for the rest of my life. They are not cheap so it adds up. This weekend between Vitamins for two weeks and protein powder, a small scale and a pill crusher, I spent over 175.00 bucks. I knew this process was going to be expensive but I had no Idea. So less money for supplies for my hobby but I do take donations of any kind. LOL I think that the thing that intrigues me the most is how insurance does not cover these vitamins you have to take for the rest of your life. The bottle is 26.00 dollars it comes with 120 and I have to chew on four a day. When you get bypass surgery a lot of medications will have to be taken in liquid form or chewable. Your body needs to absorb as many vitamins as possible before they are loss to poor reabsorbing this is the best method to take medication and you need to take them as the Doctor tells you. So a bottle of these pills will last me 30 days so every month I will be spending a good chunk of money of things I have to take the rest of my life I know this is a good thing but this is on top of grocery money, so I sure hope my work starts getting picked up for publication cause Wanda needs the money. The dream of a Cannon 30D or a 5d is a thing of the past right now, I can't afford neither of them I know the kids were talking about getting me the camera but right now they are going through some crisis of their own so I really don't think it is going to happen. Last Night my son Giovanni's car motor blew on his car so that is going to put him down a lot of money and he just had surgery on his mouth and that is more money. John Michael is busy planning all his trips for next year and buying plane tickets and plane reservations. So my dream of owning this camera needs to be put aside because I do need a Bed and a dresser our Mattress set was purchased in 1989 and being that I am not a small woman and that bed has held all the family at one point or another. It is a tired bed and needs to be replaced not sure if it can happen, but it needs to happen. I wish I was someone who did not have to worry about money and expenses but I do, some things will need to be sacrificed so others can happen. I know I have to buy the vitamins I need and I know I have to buy the protein it is really essential to be committed to your health when you undergo Bariatic surgery so I can't take it lightly. I took me three years to make this decision I want to be healthy to enjoy the benefits of having the surgery. It is important that I remember this. I was busy this weekend creating and thinking about my family, I miss my Dad a lot there are times I just wish he would be around just to give him a hug. I know he is OK my step mom called me on Thanksgiving and left a message saying they were all OK but I do miss the guy. I talked to my oldest Sister this weekend that is always a nice experience love her to pieces. There are times I feel so torn with all the things going on in my life, some are good some are not so good but if I keep everything in perspective I know I am so blessed these things will all pass. In my Dream World Cannon people will read my blog. Hey you never know right. Who is out there in Cyber world. So I decided to make a list of the things I dream of having but at this time are not going to happen because my health is more of a priority and lets face it money does not grow on trees.

My Wish List includes

1. A Cannon 5D or a 30D

2. A laptop computer so I can be mobile Apple or PC I love them both.

3. A New floor for my Kitchen

4. A new something for our one and only bathroom don't know how eight people can live in a one bathroom house come and talk to us.

5. A New bed

6. A New Dresser

7. A New TV and DVD player

8. The WII for Jimmy so he can play the weeks that we have him.

9. That the soldiers come back home

10. That everyday people remember to count their blessings regardless of the blows life gives them it is what keeps me sane. 11. I also need a new deck because ours is falling apart and since it is like Five feet of the ground that can be dangerous. I try not to be outther much so if it breaks I don't get blamed.

I have to upload my latest work but in the meantime some oldies but goodies I have created in the past!! Here are also the new stuff I created this weekend!! Make sure to say hello if you stop by!! Hugs Wanda