I have wanted to record this story so my kids will have a legacy of all that makes our life. I want to honor this man I love so much not only with words but celebrating him. He is such a wonderful person and sometimes that gets lost in traslation. The story you are about to read is true and at the time it was a changing force in our lives. I have always loved Jose but after this day I not only loved him I learned that love can conquer all.
Twenty three years ago our lives changed forever and to this day I have not been able to sit down to write what happened that day. The experience while it made us stronger almost took you away from me and it is hard for me to think about this and be calm about it. I was pregnant with Giovanni on April 3, 1983 we had just found out and while you were happy about this, Nyome was only six months old and you were concerned about me not being strong enough. I think we now laugh at that but at the time it was a real concern. The day started as any Sunday in our house bottles breakfast and the usual running around. You had some coffee but you were not hungry enough to eat so you left to go visit your Mom. She lived up the street so if I needed you all I had to do was send Joey to get you. I remember the sound that ripped my heart in two and lives in my memory forever. I was sitting down giving Nyome her lunch and as usual she was not to happy about it. All of the sudden I hear the sound of bullets being fired. I remembered you told me never go out when you hear that noise, but something told me I had too and I told Joey to stay with the baby and I ran out in my house dress and sandals to see what was going on. I can’t really explain with words the impact of what I saw and how it changed my life forever. I lost my innocence in that one moment when I saw you trying to stand up your shirt full of blood and people yelling you had been shot by a drive by shooter. I ran to you as fast as I could and held you in my arms and started yelling for someone to bring a car so we could take you to the Hospital. I remember that trip so vividly you were lying down in the back seat trying to calm me down I could see the blood in your face in your stomach and in your legs. I was not sure how many times you had been shot but you kept telling me to be calm that everything was going to be ok. I tried I really tried, you asked me to make sure they did not take your boots because they were your only pair of boots. I promised I would make sure no one stole your boots. These are the things I remember the doctors taking you in the emergency room and starting to cut off your clothes and take off your boots. They ran with you to the x-ray room and I was not allowed there because of my pregnancy. I stood at the door and watched while you were bleeding out your kidney and they debated if the bullet that had hit your face was in your brain because they could not find an exit wound. I could see you had a tube going out that was filling with your blood but you never lost your consciousness. A surgeon came in and started looking at your face and saw a small little hole right next to your nose and said this is the exit wound let get this guy to surgery. I remember as they wheeled you out of there you grabbed my arm and asked me for Joey and I said he is home with my Mom don’t worry. You said I love you and I just wanted to cry but I remembered I needed to be strong then you said where are my boots and I ran to see the orderly and asked for your boots. The guy said you were going to die anyway what was the point. I said he asked for them I guess he needs them. I got the boots and ran to the surgery floor and the longest hours of my life were about to begin. You had suffer multiple gunshots to your leg, your back, and your face. The bullet that entered through your back traveled all around before it exited out of you body. You lost your left kidney and you had five perforations in your stomach, duodenum, and colon transversal. The surgeons came out when they could not save your kidney and told me right now it a 20/80 chance he will make it. I looked at him and said oh he will make it he needs his boots. Those boots that I held in my lap for more than 12 hours while they tried to repair your broken body. They came out again to tell me they could not do anything with the bullets in you leg because it would do more damage than good so the shattered bones would have to heal with the bullets inside of you. When the surgery was over you were put in intensive care and I could only see you for ten minutes everyday. You were connected to machines and you had a colostomy, you had a cast in you leg and your face was a little bruised. You were alive and that was all that mattered. I would go home and pray that you would make it through the night. One night you stopped breathing and they had no idea what was going on. You were gone for a minute or so and I was home on my knees praying for a miracle at that time. You came back and after that two days later you were allowed to be out of intensive care and in a regular room. We spent the next month and a half in the hospital you could not eat or drink for a long time. You had to get used to the colostomy and I slept on a chair next to you almost every night. I have no idea who took care of the kids I needed to be with you. All I could think about was he needs to get stronger we need to get out of here. I left one day to see the kids and get some clothes for you the doctors had been talking about letting you go home. I wanted to make sure I had your clothes, we had to move to my mothers house so I could take care of you since you could not work. We could not afford to live in the house we rented. The doctors where worried about my pregnancy but I was stubborn and would not leave. When I came back happy at the thought of bringing you home the surgeon was coming out of your room with this face that made my world stop. He said to me that there was a problem with your colostomy they thought your intestines were dying and you had necrosis inside. I just looked at him and said we need a second opinion. I don’t know where I got the courage to be so strong and advocate for you but I did. The baby inside of me was suffering enough I was not going to loose his father because someone was making a wrong diagnosis. They came into the room with a team and started talking like we were not there. I said hey we are both here and we are not stupid will you please talk to us. One of the surgeon was arguing that what happened was when they did the colostomy they had hurt a small blood vessel and the blood stopped flowing so you developed a piece of skin that had died but that everything else was fine. The others thought you had necrosis and you would not survive more than 36 hours. The surgeon then took the bag away from your colostomy took a bottle of distilled water and started cleaning you and the piece of dead skin fell of and the other surgeons just stood there and watched. Two days later we where sent home and our lives would change forever. Crutches, colostomy bags, adhesives and cleaning supplies became a normal part of our lives. Dr’s appointments, and late night massaging you knees and calf because the pain was so horrible and you could not bend your knee. I remember sitting on the floor and massaging you for hours. Until the knee started moving and bending some. I was getting big with child and we needed to find a place to live. I would go to the government offices and wait hours to see someone to talk about an apartment. In October finally when I though I would have the baby living at my mother’s house we got the apartment and moved. I remember those stairs that fourth floor apartment and no elevator and not being able to help during the move. Giovanni was born and three months later we went to my grandfathers church to present him to God and the congregation. I wanted to remember that day forever and I took these photos of you holding Giovanni and that look on his face that reminded us of all the suffering he had while he was inside me. He was your boy everywhere you went he wanted to be with you. I remember he refused to take bottles so you would take him and bring him back so I could feed him and then off you two went. I think that is when he started smiling, when you showered him with attention. I found these photos I taught I had lost when we moved to Wisconsin and I could remember so clearly why these photos where so important they show a boy with his father but they don’t tell the tale of how we almost lost you. I wanted that to be a part of the book of our lives. The good the bad and the ugly is what makes us what we are today. It is hard for people to understand why we had two more kids after that but you wanted eight my compromise was five. I look at our family and realize twenty three years ago if I had not listened to my heart you might not be here today and the photos that are part of this collage would never exist. I don’t want to dwell on what happened we have moved on but I want our kids to remember that everyday we have with you is a blessing that we should never take for granted. I have always loved you 33 years and counting and to me that day we became one. Everyday I thank God he let you stay with us. I don’t know what my life would be without you. You are not perfect but you are perfect for me and that is all that matters. As our kids get older the story might not be remembered but now it will live on. Not to dwell but to celebrate that you are not a victim you are a SURVIVOR. Events happened April 3,1983;the Journaling August 25, 2006.
The layout is a collage of my kids our grandson and a 23 year old photo that means so much to me. I am glad I have a way to capture these memories. Thank you for reading and make sure you say hi if you come and visit!! Hugs Wanda
I have wanted to record this story so my kids will have a legacy of all that makes our life. I want to honor this man I love so much not only with words but celebrating him. He is such a wonderful person and sometimes that gets lost in traslation. The story you are about to read is true and at the time it was a changing force in our lives. I have always loved Jose but after this day I not only loved him I learned that love can conquer all.
Twenty three years ago our lives changed forever and to this day I have not been able to sit down to write what happened that day. The experience while it made us stronger almost took you away from me and it is hard for me to think about this and be calm about it. I was pregnant with Giovanni on April 3, 1983 we had just found out and while you were happy about this, Nyome was only six months old and you were concerned about me not being strong enough. I think we now laugh at that but at the time it was a real concern. The day started as any Sunday in our house bottles breakfast and the usual running around. You had some coffee but you were not hungry enough to eat so you left to go visit your Mom. She lived up the street so if I needed you all I had to do was send Joey to get you. I remember the sound that ripped my heart in two and lives in my memory forever. I was sitting down giving Nyome her lunch and as usual she was not to happy about it. All of the sudden I hear the sound of bullets being fired. I remembered you told me never go out when you hear that noise, but something told me I had too and I told Joey to stay with the baby and I ran out in my house dress and sandals to see what was going on. I can’t really explain with words the impact of what I saw and how it changed my life forever. I lost my innocence in that one moment when I saw you trying to stand up your shirt full of blood and people yelling you had been shot by a drive by shooter. I ran to you as fast as I could and held you in my arms and started yelling for someone to bring a car so we could take you to the Hospital. I remember that trip so vividly you were lying down in the back seat trying to calm me down I could see the blood in your face in your stomach and in your legs. I was not sure how many times you had been shot but you kept telling me to be calm that everything was going to be ok. I tried I really tried, you asked me to make sure they did not take your boots because they were your only pair of boots. I promised I would make sure no one stole your boots. These are the things I remember the doctors taking you in the emergency room and starting to cut off your clothes and take off your boots. They ran with you to the x-ray room and I was not allowed there because of my pregnancy. I stood at the door and watched while you were bleeding out your kidney and they debated if the bullet that had hit your face was in your brain because they could not find an exit wound. I could see you had a tube going out that was filling with your blood but you never lost your consciousness. A surgeon came in and started looking at your face and saw a small little hole right next to your nose and said this is the exit wound let get this guy to surgery. I remember as they wheeled you out of there you grabbed my arm and asked me for Joey and I said he is home with my Mom don’t worry. You said I love you and I just wanted to cry but I remembered I needed to be strong then you said where are my boots and I ran to see the orderly and asked for your boots. The guy said you were going to die anyway what was the point. I said he asked for them I guess he needs them. I got the boots and ran to the surgery floor and the longest hours of my life were about to begin. You had suffer multiple gunshots to your leg, your back, and your face. The bullet that entered through your back traveled all around before it exited out of you body. You lost your left kidney and you had five perforations in your stomach, duodenum, and colon transversal. The surgeons came out when they could not save your kidney and told me right now it a 20/80 chance he will make it. I looked at him and said oh he will make it he needs his boots. Those boots that I held in my lap for more than 12 hours while they tried to repair your broken body. They came out again to tell me they could not do anything with the bullets in you leg because it would do more damage than good so the shattered bones would have to heal with the bullets inside of you. When the surgery was over you were put in intensive care and I could only see you for ten minutes everyday. You were connected to machines and you had a colostomy, you had a cast in you leg and your face was a little bruised. You were alive and that was all that mattered. I would go home and pray that you would make it through the night. One night you stopped breathing and they had no idea what was going on. You were gone for a minute or so and I was home on my knees praying for a miracle at that time. You came back and after that two days later you were allowed to be out of intensive care and in a regular room. We spent the next month and a half in the hospital you could not eat or drink for a long time. You had to get used to the colostomy and I slept on a chair next to you almost every night. I have no idea who took care of the kids I needed to be with you. All I could think about was he needs to get stronger we need to get out of here. I left one day to see the kids and get some clothes for you the doctors had been talking about letting you go home. I wanted to make sure I had your clothes, we had to move to my mothers house so I could take care of you since you could not work. We could not afford to live in the house we rented. The doctors where worried about my pregnancy but I was stubborn and would not leave. When I came back happy at the thought of bringing you home the surgeon was coming out of your room with this face that made my world stop. He said to me that there was a problem with your colostomy they thought your intestines were dying and you had necrosis inside. I just looked at him and said we need a second opinion. I don’t know where I got the courage to be so strong and advocate for you but I did. The baby inside of me was suffering enough I was not going to loose his father because someone was making a wrong diagnosis. They came into the room with a team and started talking like we were not there. I said hey we are both here and we are not stupid will you please talk to us. One of the surgeon was arguing that what happened was when they did the colostomy they had hurt a small blood vessel and the blood stopped flowing so you developed a piece of skin that had died but that everything else was fine. The others thought you had necrosis and you would not survive more than 36 hours. The surgeon then took the bag away from your colostomy took a bottle of distilled water and started cleaning you and the piece of dead skin fell of and the other surgeons just stood there and watched. Two days later we where sent home and our lives would change forever. Crutches, colostomy bags, adhesives and cleaning supplies became a normal part of our lives. Dr’s appointments, and late night massaging you knees and calf because the pain was so horrible and you could not bend your knee. I remember sitting on the floor and massaging you for hours. Until the knee started moving and bending some. I was getting big with child and we needed to find a place to live. I would go to the government offices and wait hours to see someone to talk about an apartment. In October finally when I though I would have the baby living at my mother’s house we got the apartment and moved. I remember those stairs that fourth floor apartment and no elevator and not being able to help during the move. Giovanni was born and three months later we went to my grandfathers church to present him to God and the congregation. I wanted to remember that day forever and I took these photos of you holding Giovanni and that look on his face that reminded us of all the suffering he had while he was inside me. He was your boy everywhere you went he wanted to be with you. I remember he refused to take bottles so you would take him and bring him back so I could feed him and then off you two went. I think that is when he started smiling, when you showered him with attention. I found these photos I taught I had lost when we moved to Wisconsin and I could remember so clearly why these photos where so important they show a boy with his father but they don’t tell the tale of how we almost lost you. I wanted that to be a part of the book of our lives. The good the bad and the ugly is what makes us what we are today. It is hard for people to understand why we had two more kids after that but you wanted eight my compromise was five. I look at our family and realize twenty three years ago if I had not listened to my heart you might not be here today and the photos that are part of this collage would never exist. I don’t want to dwell on what happened we have moved on but I want our kids to remember that everyday we have with you is a blessing that we should never take for granted. I have always loved you 33 years and counting and to me that day we became one. Everyday I thank God he let you stay with us. I don’t know what my life would be without you. You are not perfect but you are perfect for me and that is all that matters. As our kids get older the story might not be remembered but now it will live on. Not to dwell but to celebrate that you are not a victim you are a SURVIVOR. Events happened April 3,1983;the Journaling August 25, 2006.
The layout is a collage of my kids our grandson and a 23 year old photo that means so much to me. I am glad I have a way to capture these memories. Thank you for reading and make sure you say hi if you come and visit!! Hugs Wanda
17 comments:
Wanda:
...muy, muy emotivo! Un amor sin vuelta atrás...un par de botas que le dan continuidad a tu esposo en el caminar por la vida junto a ti, tú que cuidaste sus botas con ilusión en tu regazo; unas cicatrices cuyo tejido ya no percibe esos dolores de entonces; 36 horas que se han convertido en 23 años...y los que faltan!!! Gracias por compartir esa parte de sus vidas...
Un abrazo,
JESSICA
Wow Wanda, what an amazing story! I can't imagine what you and Jose went through during that time,but thank God it all turned out ok in the end. Beautiful layout and journaling!
See, Wanda, when I think I know a lot about you, I realize there is still so much to discover. I know you went through a lot but never guessed something of this magnitude. You have my admiration and respect for the way you handle things and cope through life. Your love for Jose is just so great and I'm glad you made this LO for your family.
OH my this story is sooo heartfelt,, and a beautiful story of such courage..
Im from Australia and we dont have drive by shootings, for that we are blessed..
thanx for sharing such a hearttouching story,, i also love the layout for the journalling..great work!
bueno....te diré que siempre que leo y escucho atentamente a tus palabras...te admiro más....tú también eres sobreviviente....también una campeona...IMargie
Wanda, verdaderamente Dios obra milagros. Gracias por compartir ese momento con tus amigas, así nos permites conocerte mejor y dar fe de todas las bendiciones que tenemos. Eres una mujer verdaderamente fuerte.
Un abrazo,
Myriam
Amiga del alma, soy bendecida al tenerte en mi vida. Gracias por compartir tu historia con nosotras, eres un ser admirable y respetable, una artista y una mujer de mucho valor. Mis oraciones contigo y tu familia para que Dios les continue bendiciendo con la vida y con el amor.
YOU ARE MY HEROE!!
Un abrazo,
Diana
what an amazingly wonderful story! your life is full of wonderful miracles, and it is awesome that you acknowledge that in what you do!
Wanda, your story is so touching, and you tell it so well. Isn't it strange how the little things are the ones that stick in our memory? The boots, after all this time, the one thing that you remember so distinctly. What a story, girl, what a story!
Love ya,
Maite
Wandy,
Te felicito. Lograste capturar en estas páginas electrónicas los momentos más difíciles de expresar de aquel horrible incidente.
¡Me moviste a lágrimas! Yo también recuerdo ese terrible día demasiado bien. Justo en el momento de los disparos, yo estaba en el balcón mirando hacia la calle y Toñito estaba cerca de la Iglesia Pentecostal junto al caminito que conducía hacia casa. Pasó tan rápidamente… El carro, los disparos, su caída, la sangre, los gritos, tú corriendo hasta él… Verdaderamente que fue espeluznante, pero la recompensa ha sido aún mayor. De ese gran valiente que es tu esposo aprendimos a valorar la vida de una manera mucho más profunda. Con la ayuda y gracia de Dios, él tornó una tragedia en un triunfo duradero.
Tu hermana,
Taty
PS: Mami, yo y otros familiares cuidamos de tus nenes
Wanda...wow...how touching...you have been through so much...I have been reading your blog...have even went back and read some of your early entries...you tell such great stories...you have accomplished so much...best wishes to you and continued success.
Kristi Smith
Wanda your journaling on this moment in your life has really moved me. I am truly amazed what you and your family has overcome.
lots of cyber hugs to you.
Wow. These are beautiful layouts, great montage style, and the journalling is incredible. What a moving story. I think it's wonderful for you to record all of this in this beautiful way.
Wanda, I had no idea about this event in your life. Your journaling is amazing. It's so wonderful you record these things. You are an amazing, strong, beautiful soul. Sending much love --
Wanda,
Awesome, awesome, awesome way to honor and cherish your husband, your family, your spirit, your life. Thanks for sharing such a private and emotional love story.
thanks girl!
wow... unbelievable story. So glad you all survived that ordeal. Thank God! I bet it was hard to journal. and the part about the boots is so emotional. Thanks for sharing!
Very touching. i am glad you are finally comfortable sharing.
niki
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