I want to start this post by apologizing to all the people who read this blog and have not heard from me in a while. While I have legitimate reasons for my silence I know my family reads this blog and I have done a pretty bad job on keeping everyone updated. I am going to try and do a better job in the coming few months. I also will be putting up some of my latest designs of my custom jewelery so keep your eyes open for that one. I only make one design of any piece I make which gives you and exclusive look any time you wear it.
Now on to the good stuff What has happened to me and my family the last few months. On February 23, 2008 my daughter's partner and father of her now ten month old baby died. He died at the age of 25 and left a void in my daughter's life that we as a family are trying to make sure we try to fill, the truth is that we can only be there to support and love her and her kids but the journey towards her healing and journey of grieving she needs to do herself. This has been a really hard time for our family economically, emotionally and spiritually. I believe that the only reason I have been able to move forward is because of the great system of support that is my family and the love they give me everyday to continue the work I have to do.
My friends from near and far that have sent a word of love and support and that have helped me in so many ways that they really have no idea of the extent of my gratitude. They have been there to listen and care and money can't really pay for this. I feel that at times I was an entity being pulled in so many directions that the one thing I had to give up was my internet community, and it really felt lonely but because I started working full time in January it was harder than I thought. As a teacher I commit myself to doing my best for the kids I teach, sometimes that meant coming home baby sitting Zion and then calling parents to make sure their kids were doing what they had to do, or just calling parents to tell them what a wonderful job their kid was doing. The extra time I had has been devoted to creating scrapbooks for my family, a memorial album for Mitchell and my jewelery which is such an awesome outlet for my creativity. I stopped submiting to magazines because I wanted to make sure I was there for Nyome, Jimmy and Zion. I know that we still have a long road ahead of us and that it is not going to be easy to just mourn and forget but I want to honor Mitchell the best way I can and to me that is being there for Zion and Nyome who he adored and making sure that Zion has visual memories of his father that I captured over the six years he and Nyome where together.
I know the void he has left in all our hearts is not something that will go away but he is one that always said life has to be lived and with that in mind I want to honor him by making sure people don't forget how much he loved life. His death was an accident caused by poor decision making on his part, but the life he lived has intense and all who knew him loved him, becuase all he wanted from life was to be loved. He would always asked me why is it that you always love your kids unconditionally and my answer was I know all their shortcommings but they are my children the gift that life gave me and to me loving then comes naturally and I will never put conditions on that love. He would say that is the way I love Nyome and Zion. Now he is gone and it worries me that I might not be able to convey to my daughter how important it is for her to honor him by living her life to the fullest it is hard to see anything when you are in so much pain. I am glad she has Zion and Jimmy to keep her centered.
I want to use this entry to tell my brother Jeff and his Wife mocica how much their love and support for me has meant to me. No words can really explain how even through the distance your love touches me. I will never take that love for granted.
I will be sharing photos in the coming days hopefully you will tune back. Remeber life is not always what we want it is a gift that we are given to live and learn and sometimes we don't always understand why things haappen but they do.
