Father's are really special

I have been thinking about his weekend and what it means to me. You see I adore my Dad but I always keep it real and my Dad and my Mom Divorced when I was little and my relationship with him while not perfect is something that I value and cherish. I remember when I graduated from College and he came to Wisconsin to see me receive my diploma and go see the kids play soccer and share memories with them because once I moved to Wisconsin we did not see each other until then. We talked on the phone, wrote letters, he sent me stuff for the kids and me and he has always been there in spirit and thought but seeing him well that was pretty special getting to hug him and kiss him are things I never take for granted. I saw him last summer and we play phone tag a lot but I know he loves me and that is what makes me value every second I can spend with him. I am not insecure on my love for him because this man has always made me felt loved. My daughter Nyome always questions why I love him so, you see she doesn't get why I can't see the flaws on our relationship. My response to her has always been he is not perfect but he is my Dad and while it's hard for you to understand because you have your Dad with you 24/7 I have never had that so to me what ever time I have with him is special. We get into very deep philosophical discussions about what she calls my denial. You see she uses her Dad as the standard of what a father should be like and let me tell you those are some pretty big shoes to fill so I decided the other day we were not going to go there. It was not fair her reality and mine are not the same. I come from a divorced household and two parents who had a feud that put kids in the middle. It's took years for these things to be dealt with and I am so grateful he stayed around and not abandoned us totally. He is an artist who has things to do and places to go and I have always accepted that. He is my Dad and I love him and in the end that is all that matters. Her father has always been there for her teaching her how to ride a bike, how to skate, drive a car. That is Nyome's reality not mine. Her father was the primary caregiver when we moved to Wisconsin from Puerto Rico. Her Dad was Jimmy's primary caregiver his first two years while Nyome was in college and working. So you see two different realities but I know I love my dad as much as she loves hers. So this post is a tribute to all the men in my family who are father's and have been there for their kids regardless of everything. To my Brother Adalberto, Jeffrey, Alexis who are wonderful fathers who live for their kids and want the best for them. To my husband who is so wonderful there are no words to describe how I feel about this man who after 33 years still makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world and manages to deal with the bumps that come with being a father to five kids who think they know it all. Someone once told me if you are a good son you will be a good husband and father. My husband was a good son and he is a wonderful father. So this weekend take a moment to celebrate the father's in your life and cherish them and make them feel special. The guy you see here holding this little baby is my brother Jeffrey. He looks like John Michael my youngest son. When I look at him all I can do is smile I have not seen him in person for the last thirty eight years. When I lived in New York we did lots of weekends together and visited with my Dad's family. When we moved to Puerto Rico he stayed with his Mom and my Dad but we didn't see each other. I am planning to go see him with my Nicole sometime soon I hope. My kids were all so happy to get to know this Uncle they have heard about but had never seen. See family is like that when you love each other you deal and you make sure you tell them you love them because life is to short and precious to let these moment go by. Jeff I love you man never doubt that you are my brother and that is more important than anything in the world. The little baby is his grandson and the beautiful woman you see next to him is his wife. So remember tell those father's how special they are and how much you love them it really is very important. Peace out Love yah Wanda

 

 

 

Time to speak my mind and share some thoughts!

I wanted to come and write for a while and share what my world has been like the last two months but I wanted to make sure I was ready to look at this as a life lesson that would give me something to share and not something to be sad about. Hard to be able to balance this out because When the person you love most in the world is losing their eyesight it's really hard to smile and say yeah everything is ok. Let me share this story because my family reads my blog and some of them don't know all that is going on. About a month and a half ago Jose told me something was going on because he only saw shadows through his right eye I decided to make an appointment in the morning with our family Dr who is the most wonderful Dr in the world. Dr. Kyle is a treasure to the medical profession and I am so happy he is our family Dr. Nicole went with her dad to the Appointment as Jose's English is so limited but he and Dr Kyle figured out something was not right and our world changed in an instant. Emergency appointments with two different eye specialist, our girls there with us for all the appointments people giving us strange looks because our grown daughters are always in the room with us wanting to know what is wrong with their Dad. What is it about this culture that can't understand that not all young adults are uncaring of their parents. Why is it expected that my kids don't respect me or my ideas and that being with us is a good thing not a burden you complain about. I am just saying I am tired of this notion that just because your kids are older and sometimes don't live with you they don't have to care. Pisses me off can you tell. Anyways I digress sorry. The Dr's initial finding Jose is legally blind from his right eye due to fissures in his Retina they have no idea why so they want to leave the eye alone for three months and then if his eyesight or eye doesn't get better interventions or further treatment is needed. The truth he is not getting better Jose never complain about anything and yesterday he was not happy about the pain and grit in his eye he says it feels like sand in his eye. I think we might be looking for a second opinion soon. He wants to go to Puerto Rico with Nicole at the end of the month and I am thinking that will be a very good thing. I think it's 90% it will happen Nicole being a flight attendant makes that part easier. So when he comes back we go and see the Dr and start talking about a new game plan the concern is that the other eye might be feeling the same way. So keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Last weekend my son had his car stolen and the drama of that is still being felt by my stomach everything affects my stomach I hate that. We found the car some damage but it's drivable so he can go to work and I guess we are happy for small Miracles and Nyome and Michael who found the car in an apartment complex in Madison because the police is busy fighting real crime. Oh get this when they were talking to John they were asking him if he knew anyone in the buildings John says man we live in Deerfield and all we do is work why must you ask these question please. The car was stolen not borrowed not misplaced it was stolen, I tell yah!! The sad part is the only reason they were asking these question is because the majority of the people living in this particular apartment complex are latinos so of course we had to be lying about the car being stolen. We didn't want charges being brought to anyone we just wanted our car and since we have it end of story. So to add to my ongoing drama of the last months I don't have a school for next year to work in. I have a contract but no job so life can get a little stressful to say the least. The program I have been working for the last three years got cut by the district due to budgets cuts and lack of educational funding thank you no child left behind and so I find myself with out a job for the time being and feeling lost. I will be working summer school as I have been doing the last 15 years and looking forward to this. Creating books with my kids during the summer that document their lives and the things they are passionate about makes me happy inside. For people who read my blog if you want to donate anything to our classroom let me know by e-mail cardstock is always needed and adhesives. I know I will be taking some photos for some of the kids as I always do and printing them out. I will also be taking senior photos of a very special young man who's life has touched mine in a very special way. Last summer his mom called to ask what did I do to her son whatever it was she was so thankful it was sweet. I kept in touch with him all year and he has done so good and I am so proud of him. So my gift to him will be his senior portraits looking forward to that. I know this is something he wants he just doesn't know it will be my gift to him. See I have to keep looking at the positive of my life. So you see looking at the positive side of all these things has been a little difficult but in the mist of the storm good things happened and it's a reminder of how lucky and blessed I am. Another blessing my brother Jeffrey is in my life again the magic of the internet is priceless and being able to be in touch after so many years of not seeing each other has been a source of joy. I know he will read this and want to make sure he knows that when I read his emails all I can do is smile. My oldest sister Eva became a grandmother and she had abuelitis which is a wonderful thing I got pictures of the baby and he is precious and I am so happy for her. Jimmy has been such a blessing in our lives I know Gadiel Eliah will be a blessing for all of them. Lynnette is going to be a wonderful mother. Eva know how much I love you and miss you. I wish I was there with all of you. So I have not created anything until this week when my muse started saying hey we need to create and I have four projects for Diversity designs. I am working on some projects for scraptalk.com and on other stuff. Will see what the muse brings. I leave you with some images of the people I love and love me.