I can't sleep so I decided I needed to update my blog.

It has been months since we last saw each other in the process of my journey one of the things I have neglected is my blog not sure why but here I am again, hopefully I will be more consistent and update every week or more. So what have I been up too? I just had surgery on May 15, 2007 I had a panniculectomy the plastic surgeon removed part of my lower abdomen including my belly button and now all that extra weight that was in my front is gone. I can see my knees I have dimples in my knees it is kind of funny. I can fit into clothes I never thought I could wear. I have lost a total of 150 pounds since this journey started,the day of my first surgery the gastric bypass I was at 389 since the surgery I have lost 130 pounds, I sometimes have a hard time believing all I have lost but it is true and the fact none of my clothes really fit is why I know it is real. I look at my face and I have big eyes, cheekbones, I am 109 pounds away from my goal weight. I gave myself a 150 goal weight. If I lose more I am OK with that but 150 is the goal for me right now. I had to go to the emergency room tonight because my JP drain was not working and when I got to the emergency room it had fallen off my body. In the afternoon I had gone to see my Primary Doctor and he was worried about an infection so he gave me a shot (hurt like @#$#) and gave me antibiotics to drink, the emergency room ran labs and I have to call my surgeon in the morning to see what she wants to do. See taking care of me is a 24/7 job. My labs say I have anemia so I have to keep on top of that. Life really never stops around here. One of the things that happened to me in the last three months was a computer malfunction so I was with no computer for almost five weeks give or take. I knew I am computer dependent but when the computer was not here I could not even pay the bills. Right before my surgery in April I had pneumonia and that made it so I almost missed my fathers 70 birthday in Puerto Rico, on April 20 all the siblings were going to get together and surprise my Dad on this big birthday celebration he had no Idea was going on. My DR gave me the OK to go a Day before my plane was scheduled to leave, needless to say it is a great thing my daughter is a flight attendant those trips would never happen otherwise, I don't have the resources to do things like this but her benefits make it possible for me to go places. I don't think I thank her enough for being who she is. We got there Wednesday in the afternoon, Thursday and Friday she and I went to the beach so she could get some sun and the Friday night we had the Birthday bash and she and I danced the night away.It was wonderful, while I was the my Titi Ana gave me Salvia (Aloe) and that took care of my sickness for good. The biggest thing for me about going to the island is that I was going to see my little brother on my Dad's side after almost thirty six years we were going to see each other again, I was finally going to meet his wife and two of his kids. I think that there are truly no words to express the joy I have in my heart right now that this has happened, sitting next to him, talking dancing sharing made me realize who many thing he and I have in common and the deep connection we share. I loved his wife, she is like me says it like it is and such a wonderful heart you can tell by the way she is with babies, his kids oh man they reminded me of mine when they were that age. Good times good times. Nicole had to go back to work on Saturday so I stayed in the island for about a week more and got to share with my Sister Eva her Kids and I got to see a little more of my Big brother Adalberto, I think as we get older we realize how important are the connections we have with each other. I think for me that is what it's all about family is number one and we need to make sure we take care of the one's we love and keep cultivating those relationships so they grow up to be strong trees that even in storms can not be moved.This reminds me of the most wonderful person I have the honor of calling friend she has been my number one fan since I started this journey and when I had this second surgery she came in to see me at the hospital, I know for a fact she is a very busy woman but always takes time for me it humbles me to call her friend. I know she reads my blog so Rita if you are reading this thank you so much for all you do for me and for always making me feel very special. You have a gift my friend the world is a better place because you are in it. I love ya!! Moving on! I want to go visit my brother this summer, I want to go back to the island before summer is over. This is going to be the first year I will not be teaching summer school, if my DR releases me to work I will need to find a job after June 15 I have no income coming to me at all because of the way this disability works. They only pay you for the hours you are under contract and as on June 15 the contract is done and I don't start again until the end of August or the Dr releases me to work which can be longer. I am so worried at many levels especially because right now my health is fragile. So keep me in your thoughts so I can keep healing and get a summer job that I enjoy and will make sure I pay the bills. I will come back to this theme at another time. Just pray I receive wisdom to make the right choices. I am going to be a grandma again in September looking forward to that a new life is always a blessing and Jimmy is looking forward to being a big brother. Here are images of some of the things I have been talking about. Remember to live life with a purpose no matter what you do in life if you live life with a purpose you are always going to touch someone. Enjoy the photos more to come soon I hope. Hugs Wanda

Trying to be at more than one place is not easy!!

As a teacher it has been my mantra that you have to be a positive example in your students life. As a mother that is what keeps me going! I am trying as a WLS patient to be that a positive example even when things are not perfect knowing that this surgery is a tool and that I was given this tool to use it. I am at 317 pounds which means that since the day of my surgery I have lost 63 pounds. I left the Hospital at 370, came home and as of today this is my weight loss. It has been slow and steady and because of my fluid retention on my abdomen who knows how many more pounds I have lost. I am taking my furrosimide everyday because my legs get really swollen with the shift on how I carry my weight. I have Varicose veins popping everywhere because of the change in how my weight is carried. You ask me will you have done it if you knew all these was going to happen my answer is yes. I just would of been more mentally prepared for the challenges ahead. I am doing OK I am still at home due to Dr's orders I loose my balance easily and the weight of my Panni is taking a toll on my back. I go see another plastic surgeon on Tuesday and then I will know when I will have the next surgery. I am worried but my worries are more of a financial nature I am the main wage earner in the house so I am waiting on a decision from the people that handle our long term disability policy and see what they have to say. I am hoping that all goes well and not to many hurdles to jump. I miss being in the classroom but right now I know I would not be of any good in a class full of teenagers. I want to be well so I can give them my all. So April is the date the Dr has in mind right now but that is also tentative and if I have surgery that can change. My life is never easy, but I roll with the punches because I know I am blessed in so many ways. I try to always look for that light at the end of the tunnel that will illuminate my path so I don't falter and I keep going always with the hope that things have to get better. I think that keeps me balanced. My hubby and my youngest went to Puerto Rico to visit family and this is when I am happy Nicole does the job she loves. Her benefits blessed us with the opportunity to go and see our family. I know before she had this job I had not been to Puerto Rico in almost seven years. So now they are there and I am hoping it stops raining enough that they can enjoy their stay. I am pretty sure they will. I miss them but I am so happy they got to go. They stay with family so not to much cost involved and the trip is part of her benefits. I hope I can go this summer and spend some time with my family over there. It will all depend on my health. I am creating which is always good and I need to scan all these pages I have not scanned and I taking care of me that is a full time job. You can't stop caring about yourself because you are the most precious thing you have. So make sure you continue to live life with a purpose and I promise I will be updating more!! Hugs Wanda

Jimmy's Army

Well after reading my tittle you are all going to wonder what is wrong with Wanda but when you see the photos you will get it. I have been at home wont be able to go back to work until April according to my DR. I need to keep my feet up because they get swollen due to the weight of my abdomen. I keep getting smaller and it keeps getting harder to carry my abdomen. It(my abdomen) retains water and has a life of it's own. I was not prepared mentally for this when it started now I just roll with the punches and try to look at the positives. I wanted to send big hugs to all the people that in one way or another have helped me the past months. The list is big but you guys know who you are and all I am going to say is that there are no words in the world that can express how moved touched I am by the care you have showed me and my family. This month I know the challenges of dealing with the huge pay cut the district made me realize that there is no way I can do some things all by myself and the love and support and prayers are all cherished in my heart. My kids use to ask me Mom why do you do the things you do and I always said because when you live life with a purpose you know you have a direction and even when things seem to be at their worst light and wisdom will come out of every situation. I realize when people are young and you tell them things like this they look at you and shrug their shoulders and sometimes think yeah right. The truth is that my kids have seen the love and care people we have sometimes no even meet reaching out to help. This in itself is one of the most valuable lessons we have learned from this experience. The lessons for me are of a different nature, some have to do with my ability to be resilient and face obstacles I had no idea I could. That setting personal goals for myself is something I can do but look forward to each day. That my creativity and art are an integral part of my soul and that if I am not able to be creative my soul can die. That I have five kids that are all unique in different ways but each day they show me the way they love me is unconditional. That my friends humbles me. I think I will write more about this one later. That my grandson is the sweetest kid I know and that even though he lives in two households and is back and forth every other week he never forgets me. Proof of this on Tuesday when he left he said to me "Grandma I am going to miss you when I go to Daddy's house, you remember me OK" Now how can I forget this dear child is beyond me. The truth is that this kid is such a gift when he saw his dad he said to him Daddy I missed you. He is so sweet and words still come easy for him. My prayers are that he never changes. I have been creating as always some pages a lot of crocheting I am also making leg warmers and hats you can place an order with me for those .So the list is right now I have scarves, ponchos, leg warmers and Hats. My method of preferred payment is pay pal. Feel free to email me at gel2mat@yahoo.com if you want any of my handmade creations. Scarves are 20-25, belts are 10-15, ponchos 30-40 hats are 10-15 and leg warmers and 2o-30 depending on the yarn. My daughter is in one of the photos modeling a hat scarf and her leg warmers. Make sure if you stop by leave me some love!! Winter is not going anywhere but I also make light things for spring and summer. The layouts on this post one is for Scrap Kitchen the new kit Chef has available for sale and her Phunky frames. I love them. The photo of mw which I took in my bathroom mirror the overlays are by Clara Wallace from A matter of Scrap. Thank you for stopping by, as always live life with a purpose. Hugs Wanda